The greatest gifts?

Want to energise, enthuse and empower the people you work with, or even your family and friends? Then these are the greatest gifts you can give them, writes Simon Hall...

Aimee Durning MBE and Dr James Biddulph

I'm lucky that I often meet great people as part of my work as a roving communication consultant. 

Sometimes I even meet terrific people, and just occasionally I meet someone who's utterly amazing.

Last week brought one such moment, along with a touching and hell of an important lesson in life. 

 

First of all, an introduction, the people in the photo. 

This is Aimee Durning, a Teaching Assistant at the University of Cambridge Primary School, with Dr James Biddulph, the Executive Headteacher.

If they look happy, it's for good reason. 

Aimee has just been awarded an MBE in the Queen's Birthday Honours.

It's richly deserved, for her work with children with special educational needs and disabilities, particularly through the Covid crisis. 

Despite suffering a serious case of the disease herself, Aimee kept going, making sure vulnerable families had the resources they needed to cope. 

Her story goes back five years, and you'll see why I think it's so important.

 

The contribution of teaching assistants (TAs) in schools is often underappreciated. 

So when Aimee approached James with a suggestion about improving the work of the school by changing the way it used TAs, helping vulnerable children towards much greater independence, she didn't expect much in the way of a reaction.

Instead he loved the idea and put her in charge of implementing it. 

And that moment, that simple investment of trust, agency and respect on the part of the Head, changed Aimee's life. 

It was the first time anyone had ever empowered her in her working life, she told me.

And wow, what a difference it's made. 

 

The project was put into successful action, and from there Aimee didn't look back. 

She's taking a degree, co writes books on educational matters with eminent professors, speaks at major events, has joined the leadership team at the school, set up a regional network of teaching assistants, and now plans to expand it nationally. 

And all because she was (i) listened to, (ii) trusted, (iii) respected and (iv) empowered. 

 

This chimed strongly with me, because Aimee's story embodies something which I've seen so many times in my career of teaching and mentoring. 

Confidence, respect and trust are perhaps the greatest gifts you can give. 

 

I first noticed it way back in my BBC days, when I was a Deputy News Editor. 

One of our reporters was struggling with her storytelling. 

We sat down, had a chat, went through some of her reports, agreed they were actually very good, but tried a couple of new ideas and within a month...

All was sorted. She became one of our best performers.

Not because I taught her anything, but because I trusted and respected her, gave her a little time and some reassurance, which in turn gave her confidence. 

And that was all she needed to fly. 

 

Something similar has happened countless times when I've mentored writers. 

We work through a book together, they get published, they're full of thanks, but...

Actually, all I did was gave them the confidence to believe they could do it. 

And if you believe in yourself, it's amazing how things really start to happen. 

 

I saw the power of the gift of confidence again last month, when I was teaching public speaking. 

One of the group thought she was hopeless at it. 

But a little time, a bit of trust, some gentle coaxing, the input of a shot of confidence...

And by the end of the day, she had public speaking and presentations pretty much nailed. 

 

A brief aside here.

It's curious - and sad - how many people prefer to put others down. 

If you're on the wrong end of such behaviour, remember this:

In my experience, it tends to stem from inadequacy and deep rooted unhappiness. 

I hope, in this new world where we're supposed to be building back better, we can help each other along more rather than try to pull each other down. 

 

So, whether it might be with your staff, your friends and family, or your colleagues...

Taking time... offering trust, agency and respect... empowering and giving confidence...

May not bring the honour of an MBE, as it did with Aimee and the enlightened leadership of Dr Biddulph...

But it can certainly give rise to amazing fulfilment and achievements. 



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