I may be a balding, gawky, rapidly ageing guy…
But still, apparently, irresistibly attractive.
Barely a week goes by without some beautiful young woman getting in touch online to say she desperately wants to be with me.
- If only I could send her some money to get to Cambridge, of course.
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Now, I suspect I know what you’re thinking.
But please don’t be so upsetting and cynical.
I’ve exchanged messages with various of these women, and they come across as very lovely.
So I keep talking to them. I keep on talking to them. And then talking to them some more.
It only takes a few seconds, using the dictation app on my phone, so it's hardly a waste of time.
And I do enjoy taking the occasional break from work to send another message.
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- It’s not my fault the bank won’t yet release the money they need, I say.
But, I reassure them, I’m keeping on trying, and will continue doing so.
So long as they keep sending me their lovely messages, keep believing, keep faith in lovelorn me.
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It’s never crossed my mind, of course, that by wasting their time I’m stopping them approaching someone else…
Someone who might just be willing and able to send them the money they want.
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Why do I mention this now, you may well ask:
It's because sometimes in life, you have to play a part.
Whether to disrupt the activities of cyber-criminals…
Or, as I’m thinking now…
When public speaking.
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The first part you have to play when giving a talk is that of the educator and entertainer.
No matter how nervous or unsure you might be…
That's your job.
It’s down to you to take on the role of a person who really knows their stuff…
Is going to stand up there, tell the audience all about it…
And leave them thoroughly informed and entertained.
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- But that’s only part one of your role.
The next is bringing your character to the fore.
Because your natural style is a critical part of powerful public speaking – of any form of communication, in fact.
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On my Compelling Communication Skills course, the last exercise we set the learners is to identify the one single insight which has made the biggest difference to them.
They can choose anything they’ve learnt:
From the beautiful art of simplicity, to the wonder of less is more, clarity of narrative, character, storytelling, show not tell, data visualisation…
A wide range of possible answers is open to them.
But here's the interesting part:
- On average, about 2/3 of the learners choose character, the remarkable power of liberating their natural style of communication.
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However, even here, there's another need to play a part.
You have to be sure to temper your character for the demands of the situation.
My natural style is to be warm, humorous, energetic, sometimes a little eccentric.
And authenticity is critical when presenting.
But! I always calibrate for my audience.
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If I’m working with schoolchildren, I’ll be even more madcap than usual.
We might do some warmup exercises consisting of modulating our voices, with shrieks and bass burrs, plus reading nonsense poetry to really get our mouths moving.
However, if I’m working with a more old school, traditional type organisation, I’ll be much more straight and sober.
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Likewise, if I’m teaching the group on Compelling Communication Skills, I’ll be outfront and very much the leader.
However, if I’m discussing amendments to the course with the team…
Or the marks to give some of the learners for the assignments we set…
I’ll simply be one of the group.
First among equals, perhaps, if a decision has to be made.
But, otherwise, just one voice among the many talented people I’m lucky enough to work with
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In each case, whatever the occasion, as authenticity demands, I’ll still be myself.
Just different shades of me, according to the situation.
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So, whether you’re flirting online…
Or - as is the real point of this blog - public speaking and presenting…
- Remember to always play the part that will get the best results.
