Jon writes:
My daughter is four years old. At the end of last year I watched her carol service, and I noticed the level of confidence of all the performers:
Absolutely 100%.
Regardless of their ability, I saw no fear. Some were thoroughly engaged in the process, enthusiastically enunciating every word, while others seemed almost unaware of what was taking place around them: not involved, but just as happy as everyone else. And everyone appeared very happy.
Unexpectedly, I found myself envying them. How is it that they – at four years old – possessed the quality of supreme confidence that I should have in abundance, given my age and experience?
It appears that the fear of performing in front of an audience is something we learn. Perhaps as we get older we feel we have more to lose. Or perhaps our culture emphasises that weaknesses are something to be ashamed of. Or perhaps, just perhaps, we collect anxieties as we age like awful, impossibly heavy trophies.
One of the greatest things I do for people is to point out all the wonderful qualities they have as speakers. Obviously I’ll mention an odd stance or a repeated filler word, but a lot of people whose confidence I help restore are simply unaware of the their positive attributes. These might be the tone of their voice, their sense of humour, or the way they use language. As they realise that they possess these abilities, the unnecessary burden of their sense of inadequacy is lifted.
Support each other; if you genuinely enjoyed the last piece of work a colleague did – do them a favour and let them know.
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