Madeleine Morgan of Growu writes:
This raised important questions like, ‘Could this culture be a factor in causing crashes?’ The answer was ‘Yes’.
What has this got to do with everyday life, I hear you ask?
Well, it’s possible to find yourself in a ‘Command and Control’ relationship in all walks of life… politics, manager/team relationships, teacher/student relationships, celebrity/fan relationships, client/supplier relationships, friendships, marriages, parent/child relationships and other family relationships, etc.
Curiously, It isn’t always the one who has the senior title who is in command.
And…’command and control’ relationships can sometimes be created by the ‘junior’ partner giving away their power to be assertive rather than by the ‘senior’ partner being overly aggressive and domineering.
So, how do you know when you’re in a ‘Command and Control’ relationship?
Some signs are when one person in the relationship:
- is too embarrassed to speak up even when they have a better idea or more knowledge
- avoids saying something for fear of upsetting the other
- frequently insists on making decisions without consultating the other
- ignores the legitimate needs, wants and desires of the other
Any of those behaviours could cause your relationships to crash and burn, along with the nation, your business, your organisation, your career, your family or your life. There are various reasons for this. A couple of examples are because:
- the one in command can lose touch with reality and make very bad decisions
- the ‘junior’ partner grows to resent the relationship, becomes blind to their part in creating it and gives up
Your Action for This Week
So what can you do to change a ‘command and control’ relationship into a ‘win-win’ relationship? Here are a couple of ideas:
- whether you are the commanding one or the passive one, you are trying to control the situation for some reason…to meet some need. Find out what that reason is.
- find better ways to get those needs met
Want to discover more? Try this:
How to Deal With Difficult Conversations and Behaviour Assertively Workshop Thursday 14 August 2014, Cambridge, 8.45am–1pm
Are you:
- Avoiding talking about a difficult subject that needs to be aired at work?
- Or maybe you have employees and team members who are difficult to manage.
Then this half-day workshop for professionals, managers, owner managers and aspiring managers about how to remain assertive and in control of difficult people situations is for you. Click here for more details
“One of the most powerful lessons I learnt, is how to deal with difficult people – an invaluable seminar run by Madeleine. This was thought provoking, structured and fun!” Aegean Thomson, Business Owner
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