Bad Networking Events
I find the wrong kind of networking events - the traditional ones - to be exhausting and demoralising. They feel awkward because they’re trying to force the creation of the spontaneous, which is not how spontaneity works.
Good Networking Events
The right kind of networking events, on the other hand, are a joy: effortless communication, without the hideous spectre of the 'professional networker' (even typing that phrase makes me want to gag). Did people at the last networking event you went to actually listen to you, or did they just wait for you to stop talking so they could tell you all about their business?
To make the magic happen, you just need the right approach. Here are some of the foolish, selfish ways some people seem to approach networking events, each counterposed with my wiser, kinder alternative strategy:
- You go with the intention of making as many connections as possible. This is fundamentally flawed, because you’re going for quantity over quality. Newsflash: ten cards exchanged or new LinkedIn connections may mean zero actual connections (genuine interest in continued contact and possibly doing business together), whereas one solid conversation may result in the beginning of a serious business relationship. Instead, go with the intention of enjoying yourself; to be as relaxed and genuine as possible.
- You pitch at people. Please don’t tell me your list of services or products; you’re not writing the text for your website, you’re supposed to be making connections. Try having a conversation instead; remember those? Where you listen, exchange experiences and stories, talk without ego and connect on a human level? That’s right, like with your friends. Liking each other is great; it leads to trust, which is what solid business relationships are based on.
- You put on your game face. “How’s business?” “Oh, really well; I’m really busy, it’s all going brilliantly.” Come on, no-one believes that. Tell us what’s really happening, or at least one small thing that didn’t go as well as you’d hoped. Be a real, human being, with flaws and funny stupid problems. That honesty is what people want in a business relationship, plus it can be relatable and even quite funny. Remember laughing? It’s great, isn’t it? Laughing at a networking event isn’t 'unprofessional'; it’s human. Being human creates a connection.
Conclusion
When you go to a networking event, don’t think ‘business’, think ‘personal’. When you go with the intention of having fun meeting people, then any business relationships will happen naturally, on the solid foundation of genuine social interaction.
They may forget what you said — but they will never forget how you made them feel.
